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Shiny and Spanglered

~ Maybe a laugh can illuminate life.

Shiny and Spanglered

Tag Archives: racism

Shithole

12 Friday Jan 2018

Posted by Shiny and Spanglered in Political commentary

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Africa, bigotry, Nigeria, racism, shithole, Trump

I can only presume that President Trump’s recent reference to Haiti and Africa as shitholes included Nigeria, a country I lived in, and dealt with, for six years.

I don’t presume to speak of, or for, all of Africa, but, as to Nigeria, I beg to differ with the President.

I love Nigeria.

This sentiment regularly shocks people. True, the country does not have a particularly high reputation and could not accurately be described as restful or peaceful, nor scrupulously law-abiding. (An official once told me, confidentially, that a Nigerian I had once known was the biggest crook in the whole country, and that’s against a lot of competition.)

But, really, who could fail to be charmed by the incredibly imaginative, almost poetic, stream of abuse that a Yoruba market-woman can unleash; the charming and persuasive letters from Prince Odipe, kindly offering you the opportunity to claim the million dollars your uncle left you; the colorful buses and wagons and taxis whose sole safety mechanism is the God Will Provide consolation painted on the front?

Maybe the best way to think of Nigeria is in nuclear terms. Its potential energy is enormous, available (and sometimes used) for destructive ends, but also available (and sometimes used) for positive ends.

How and where that energy gets used is up to Nigerians. But outsiders can help, at least if they have the common sense and grace to meet the country and its citizens on an equal footing.

It is not particularly helpful to smear the opening for dialogue with shit, especially when it’s so clear from what opening it actually is emanating. Perhaps the real shithole is right here:

 

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How to Make a Fascist Stew

22 Friday Jul 2016

Posted by Shiny and Spanglered in American Life, Political commentary, Satire, Social Commentary

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

African-American, fascism, Mexican, Muslim, President, racism, recipes, sexism

Unknown1. Take a large slab of economy, pound vigorously until soft. With a very sharp knife, divide into two segments — two-thirds/one-third. Set aside the two-thirds segment (see below at **), dice the remaining one-third into very small pieces, sear them to a crisp in a very hot skillet, and put into a pot. In roughly equal amounts, add academic failure, ethnic tension, job loss, race hatred, and religious bigotry. According to taste, sprinkle in fear, rumor, loathing, ignorance, innuendo, incitement. Cook slowly, stirring energetically until the mixture bubbles. Maintain at this heat, stirring occasionally. When not stirring the pot, keep the lid on tight. Sample regularly until desired taste is achieved. Serves millions (however, individual portions may be very very small).  

** Gently cut the remaining two-thirds segment into silver-platter-size portions. Carefully barbecue over a mesquite fire, et voila, you have ‘La Part du Lion.’ Goes especially well with anything that sounds French. Serves a select few. Bon appetit!

Additional Notes: Fascist Stew, in one form or another, goes back to pre-history, among clans, tribes, and sects. The currently popular recipe was perfected by German and Italian chefs in the early-mid 20th century, and given a uniquely American savor in the post-Civil War South. In recent decades, it slipped in popularity, but has returned to favor in America, the Middle East, and even Europe (especially Russia). History suggests it will continue this cycle until the human era comes to an end.

2. Looked at slightly differently, there are a number of other ways to make a genuine Fascist stew, if not quite burst into flame:

Let women vote.

Elect an African-American President.

Hug a Mexican in public. Hug a Muslim in public. Hug a Mexican Muslim in public.

Buy anything made in China.

Hug an IRS official in public.images

Elect a woman President.

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