• Seriously (or Humorously), Who Am I?

Shiny and Spanglered

~ Maybe a laugh can illuminate life.

Shiny and Spanglered

Tag Archives: immigrants

Fending Wall

10 Thursday Jan 2019

Posted by Shiny and Spanglered in American Life, Poems, Political commentary

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

asylum, border wall, Central America, ICE, immigrants, Mexico, Trump

(Note: In the world of words, theft is the highest honor one can bestow.  Robert Frost’s “Mending Wall” is the recipient/victim.)

 

Unknown-2

Something there is that doesn’t love a WALL,
That populates the Senate with such dolts
And fills the House with leftist nincompoops,
And makes them think they know what’s best for us.

The world of fake news is another thing.
I have gone after them and brought to light
Where they have lied and fibbed and told untruths,
These whores, who hide their slanders up their ass
To please the lapdog traitors in their ranks.

No one admits the truth: All HOLE, no WALL!
(With one strong WALL, I might accept a hole)

As chaos called the Spicshits from their dens,
I let their Wetback leader know that he
Must ante up the millions it will take
To keep his rapist drug-lords on that side.

He treated it as if a children’s game,
And, on the day we met to walk the line,
He laughed (I should have poked him in the eye) …
Right there … there, where we most require a WALL!

In truth, these are all simple folk,” he said,
Who want for little but to stay alive.”

“Alive, my ass,” I cried, “they’re simply scum.
The truth?  Good fences make good neighbors!”

“How do they make good neighbors?” then he asked,
“What is so precious that your might and wealth
Cannot give simple kindness pride of place?
Look at their hands!  They know what hard work is.
Look at their hearts!  They know the good from bad.”

And I?  I know the truth my father taught:

LET NO ONE GET INSIDE THE WALL YOU BUILD
AROUND YOURSELF.  OUTSIDE IS MERELY TRASH!
GOOD NEIGHBORS ARE THE ONES YOU NEVER SEE!”

senior-sitting-alone-on-bench-450w-244571548

Give Me Your Tired, Your Poor, and a Couple Tylenol

14 Friday Jul 2017

Posted by Shiny and Spanglered in American Life, Political commentary, Satire

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

crackerjacks, immigrants, immigration policy, jobs, opioid epidemic, traffic cop

A few years ago, I went to a town hall meeting, hosted by my Colorado state representative.

Unknown-1Waiting for the session to start, a couple guys near me were comparing notes on their recent re-roofing jobs, raving about the work. Once the meeting started, they tore into the rep on immigration, even though, as he observed, the issue was federal, not state.

The two guys apparently hadn’t connected the dots. In Colorado, if you get your house re-roofed, your carpet cleaned, your lawn mowed, your snow shoveled, odds are it’s an immigrant and his name is Juan. You’ve got a choice: get the job done now, with praise, or wait a couple months, with prayer.

Immigration may be an affair of the heart: We have a moral obligation to welcome others less fortunate. But it is, fundamentally, a matter of the purse: Are they helping the economy, or hurting it by taking our jobs?

Consensus on immigration will only come when the majority of Americans feels that, at worst, immigration doesn’t harm them and, at best, helps them.

We have entry policies toward some — students; part-time workers; wealthy investors — whose contribution to our country is widely understood and accepted. They could be the inspiration for specific categories where we clearly need help:

Addiction Services: Medical and counseling staff are overwhelmed by the opioid/heroin epidemic. Help is needed: drivers, orderlies, guards, and the like. Caution and savvy PR will be essential since the epidemic is worst where job-protection sentiment is highest. But, if effective, it could be a powerful example. Qualifications: Experience dealing with trauma — Syrians, Iraqis, Yemenis, Afghans.

Traffic Policeperson: In an automated age, this might seem a relic. But growing traffic congestion, and the plague of phone-distracted driving, demands on-site, on-the-ground supervision that most Americans are too phone-distracted to perform. Qualifications: Experience with insanely dangerous driving conditions — anyone from the Middle East and possibly Italy or China.

Teacher: With a booming economy paying good wages, and attacks on teachers‘ unions and on the integrity of public schools also driving them away, our teacher shortage is critical. Qualifications: Good English and high tolerance for chaos — Nigerians, Ghanaians, Kenyans,Tanzanians.

President of the United States: (Just kidding, to make sure you were paying attention.)

Personal Bodyguard: America is a dangerous place. Many of us need someone willing to take a bullet on our behalf. Qualifications: A menacing look and a nasty disposition — given those qualities, only a fool would single out a specific nationality.

Baseball Game Crackerjacks Hawker: You might think of this as a tiny niche. But, with games longer and more paralyzingly boring than ever, sales of Crackerjacks have skyrocketed as catatonic patrons look for real excitement — the prize at the bottom of the box. Qualifications: Ability to count essential; an amusing, entertaining accent also beneficial — Italians, Indians, Canadians.

The experiment will have its ups and its downs, as two different experiences demonstrate:

1. Mexican immigrant goes to his first American big-league baseball game. When he gets home, his family asks how it was. Great, he says. Everybody was so welcoming. Before the game started, they all stood up and sang: Jose, Can You See?

2.  New immigrant — no English, very hungry — sits in a coffee shop, unsure how to order. Everybody around him is ordering Donut a cuppa coffee, Donut a cuppa coffee. So, whenUnknown-2 the waiter comes, the guy gingerly orders Donut a cuppa coffee.

Success, but, by the end of a couple weeks, he’s desperate for a change. So he goes to a different diner, where everybody’s ordering Hot Dog and a Coke, Hot Dog and a Coke. The waiter comes and the guy orders Hot Dog and a Coke. The waiter asks, You want that with relish, mustard, or ketchup?

………….. Donut a cuppa coffee!!

(Postscript: The July 18, 2017 press reports that the Secretary of Homeland Security has granted a one-time increase in visas to temporary workers. I’m humbled to have been influential, but, above all, grateful that I’ll get my Crackerjacks on-the-double when I go to a Rockies game. Gotta run. Expecting a call from The Washington Post. Fingers crossed.)

If They Can’t Afford Cake, Let Them Eat Dirt

01 Thursday Mar 2012

Posted by Shiny and Spanglered in American Life, Humor, Justice and Injustice, Political commentary, Satire, Social Commentary

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

African Americans, auto workers, college education, elitism, Hispanics, immigrants, Obama, politicians, populism, Rick Santorum, southern whites, stupidity

images-4Rick Santorum says President Obama is a snob because he wants every American to go to college.  Apparently, Santorum wants some Americans not to go to college.  I wonder if he’s given any thought to whom he’d want to exclude.  In case he hasn’t gotten down to those details, let me suggest that the most simple-minded way (and, by this, I mean no disrespect to Mr. Santorum) to separate the chaff from the wheat is to exclude those who are already underrepresented at our colleges and universities:

African-Americans and Hispanics — they’re not beating down the college doors, so why not just accept the situation that circumstance has handed you. Besides, if too many members of any lower socio-economic group — whatever their race or national origin — get a college education, who’s going to collect our garbage and shovel our sidewalks?

Males — they’re fading as a percentage of college students in any case, so why not just do the educational equivalent of euthanasia.  Besides, if too many men got a college education, who would make Bud Light commercials for us?  (A decade or two ago, this would have read, Females — their place is in the kitchen, opening a Bud Light for us guys, but college admissions has finally realized that women are smarter than men.)

Immigrants — if they had wanted to go to American colleges, they should have learned English as their first language.  And if they’re illegals, they should have insisted that their parents leave them behind on the south bank of the Rio Grande.

Southern whites — no reason; just Northern prejudice.  The Old South that we knew and loved has been ruined by uppity whites with their so-called “eddication.”

Children of auto workers — if “twelve-and-out” was good enough for Daddy, it should be good enough for Junior.images-5

Aspiring politicians — who demonstrates better than Rick Santorum that college just makes you dumb as shit?

Archives

  • December 2019
  • November 2019
  • October 2019
  • September 2019
  • August 2019
  • July 2019
  • June 2019
  • May 2019
  • April 2019
  • March 2019
  • February 2019
  • January 2019
  • December 2018
  • November 2018
  • October 2018
  • September 2018
  • August 2018
  • July 2018
  • June 2018
  • May 2018
  • April 2018
  • March 2018
  • February 2018
  • January 2018
  • December 2017
  • November 2017
  • October 2017
  • September 2017
  • August 2017
  • July 2017
  • June 2017
  • May 2017
  • April 2017
  • March 2017
  • February 2017
  • January 2017
  • December 2016
  • November 2016
  • October 2016
  • September 2016
  • August 2016
  • July 2016
  • June 2016
  • May 2016
  • April 2016
  • March 2016
  • February 2016
  • January 2016
  • November 2015
  • October 2015
  • September 2015
  • August 2015
  • June 2015
  • May 2015
  • April 2015
  • February 2015
  • January 2015
  • December 2014
  • November 2014
  • October 2014
  • September 2014
  • August 2014
  • July 2014
  • June 2014
  • May 2014
  • April 2014
  • March 2014
  • February 2014
  • January 2014
  • December 2013
  • October 2013
  • September 2013
  • August 2013
  • July 2013
  • June 2013
  • May 2013
  • April 2013
  • March 2013
  • February 2013
  • January 2013
  • November 2012
  • September 2012
  • August 2012
  • July 2012
  • June 2012
  • May 2012
  • April 2012
  • March 2012
  • February 2012
  • January 2012
  • December 2011
  • November 2011
  • October 2011

Blogroll

  • The Itty Bitty Bloghorn

Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.

Cancel
Privacy & Cookies: This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this website, you agree to their use.
To find out more, including how to control cookies, see here: Cookie Policy