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images-3I’m dreaming of a … and you know the rest.  Dreams are great, but reality can be harsh:  I Want a Red Ryder, Carbine-action, 200-shot Range Model, with a Compass in the Stock … YOU’LL SHOOT YOUR EYE OUT!;  All I Want for Christmas is my Two Front Teeth … YOU SHOULD HAVE SPECIFIED HOW BIG. SORRY, BUT YOU’RE GONNA LOOK LIKE A DERANGED RABBIT;  Peace on Earth, Good Will Toward Men … OK, BUT THAT MEANS ALL MEN, FROM POPE FRANCIS TO WHITEY BULGER.

Obama knows the story.  It’s December 2002, and …

Barack:  Woo, I had the strangest dream last night …

Michelle:  Yeah?

Barack:  Well, I’m President and I’m in this really long hallway at the White House and …

Michelle:  You had me at ‘President’ …

Barack:  Yeah, it was quite a dream, so I’m in this hallway and I meet some visitors and I ask them what I should do for the country and they say, ‘Health-care reform so that everybody is part of the system and no one gets left out because they’re poor or sick, but also no one can grab a free ride and …’

Michelle:  Pretty articulate for a dream!  But, before you get carried away, were there any Republicans there?

Barack:  I’m not sure.  There was a guy with Madras pants and golf clubs.  He didn’t have any golf balls, so he wanted to use my …

Michelle:  Definitely a Republican!

Barack:  I guess so.  Anyway, this guy turns into an escalator and we ride him up to the roof where there are helicopters dropping leaflets that are really health-care sign-up forms, but, whenever someone tries to fill them in, they wrinkle up and blow away.

Michelle:  The people?

Barack:  No, no, the sign-up forms.

Michelle:  I don’t like the sound of that.

Barack:  It wasn’t a problem.  I tell the people to wish real hard, sort of like Tinkerbell, y’know, and they do and these sort-of idea-balloons appear over their heads, like in the comics, and they’re signed up, just like that.

Michelle:  What about the Republican?

Barack:  You mean the escalator?  Well, it’s funny, he turns into Osama Bin Laden.

Michelle:  We really need to get rid of that guy.

Barack:  Anyway, Bin Laden runs around with a pin popping the idea-balloons, y’know, the sign-up forms.

Michelle:  So?

Barack:  So I push him off the roof.

Michelle:  And …?

Barack:  And … well, nobody really notices.  They’re all shouting, asking what they’re signing up for, so I try to explain, but it gets dark and real windy and suddenly a hole opens up and we’re falling and I’m trying to explain, but all I can say is:  ‘Bulls 105, Knicks 87; Bulls 105, Knicks 87; Bulls 105, Knicks 87 …’  I couldn’t even get to the other scores.

Michelle:  I think you’re missing the point.  But, wait a minute.  Were you wearing pants during this whole thing?

Barack:  Well, at first, I think I was wearing Boy Scout shorts, but then I think all I had on was my jockeys.

Michelle:  I don’t like the sound of that.

Barack:  What do you think it all means?

Michelle:  Not sure.  I like the ‘President’ idea.  And the ‘pushing Bin Laden off the roof’ is good.  But the health care stuff, I dunno; sounds like it needs a lotta work.  Maybe do Bin Laden first term and save health care after you’re re-elected.

Barack:  OK.Unknown-1

Michelle:  But I’m mostly concerned about the no-pants thing. You’ve gotta wear pants!  A
President without his pants on?!  That’ll never work!